


Daybreak

by white_turtleneck631



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:15:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25591888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/white_turtleneck631/pseuds/white_turtleneck631
Summary: A reimagining of Twilight where Edward contemplates becoming human.
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Bella plopped down on her threadbare paisley bedspread, tired from a long first day of school. It was senior year, and with the future looming so close, her little childhood bedroom felt extra comfortable, like a favorite pair of shoes just about to wear away through the bottoms. She’d had so many memories here, from when her mom and Charlie were still together all the way to her first nights with Edward. She had to be careful thinking about her memories with Edward though, or she was liable to blush hard enough for Jasper to smell her from across town.

Things with Edward had been a little more complicated than usual, not that it had ever been so easy to date a vampire. But she was used to external threats, angry vampires with personal vendettas or clashes with the wolf pack. It was a little more difficult when the problem was internal—she and Edward had been having a major disagreement lately.

It had all started on a lazy summer afternoon. Bella and Edward had been picnicking in their clearing, or more accurately, Bella was enjoying a sandwich while Edward did most of the talking for her. Bella had giggled at the time, imagining Edward chomping down on a squirrel while she nibbled on her turkey and cheese, but when Edward had asked what was so funny, she brushed him off.

“See, Bells, it’s kind of hard for me to not know what you’re thinking. Can you just tell me and it will be our little inside joke?”

Bella imagined that making light of Edward’s vampirism would probably go over like a lead balloon. He considered it a terrible curse, and any time she attempted to joke about it, he would be a good sport and laugh along, but the smile wouldn’t quite reach his liquid gold eyes.

“It was honestly nothing, Edward,” she answered. “But if you must know, I was imagining you taking Charlie on a piggyback ride to get here.” She hated to lie to him, but she hated even more to make a joke at his expense.

Edward stared at her for a second, then busted up laughing. “Those rides are a Bella Swan special, though maybe Charlie could get the Swan family discount if he asked nicely.”

They both shared a laugh over the image. Sometimes it felt like the meadow was the only place they could have moments like this. There were so many obstacles and fears for them as an interspecies couple in the modern world; here, Edward could glitter all the day long, and she could trip over as many branches as she wanted to, secure in the knowledge Edward would be there in less than a second to catch her.

Edward stopped laughing first and glanced down at her half-eaten sandwich. He picked at it and tore off a piece of bread. “What I wouldn’t give to be able to enjoy this with you,” he sighed.

“Well, you could eat it if you really had to, right?” asked Bella.

“Yes, but I might as well swallow a piece of this sod for all the pleasure and nourishment I would get out of it,” he said wistfully, pulling at the grass.

It was the harsh reality that vampires could eat food, but it wouldn’t taste good, and they’d have to spit it back up later. At the end of the day, eating was just window dressing, another pretty lie intended to draw unsuspecting victims in closer. And Edward had to wrestle with this vampiric mimicry every day, fighting against his very nature to keep Bella safe because the lie was so convincing that she forgot how dangerous he could really be.

Bella smiled a little. “Would you really want to taste my sandwich, though? It’s just Wonder bread with turkey and American cheese. I promise it’s not anything special.”

Edward’s eyes turned steely. “American cheese only started taking off in America right around WWI, right after I’d ever have the chance to taste it. So I wouldn’t know.” Carlisle had turned Edward in 1918; he’d been spared from being drafted, yet he’d sacrificed enjoying the processed cheese product that was sweeping the nation by storm.

Bella frowned a little. “Do you really miss eating human food that much? Even though it doesn’t give you super strength and incredible speed?”

Edward grimaced. “Bella, do you honestly believe I enjoy being a monster because it gives me superpowers? That I wouldn’t give it all up this minute if I could just enjoy a normal picnic with you?”

She’d never considered that before. She was used to feeling so incredibly inferior to Edward that it had never occurred to her that he might actually be jealous of her mediocrity.

That was how the problem had begun. Ever since that day in the meadow, every time Bella mentioned some inane human activity she had to do, whether it was brushing her teeth or taking a shit, a flash of pain would shoot across Edward’s face. She could tell the jealousy was only getting worse, not better.

That morning things had been okay, normal even. Bella had squeezed Edward’s hand all the way from the parking lot to the front door. They only had two classes together this year, and she was nervous to be apart from him for most of the day. He could sense the fear in her death grip, though it only felt like a faint whisper upon his titanium skin. “You’re going to be fine, Bells. I’ll hear in a second if something goes wrong.” He tapped his temple with a flash of his wolfish smile. “My own personal Bella radio.”

“I’m less concerned about mortal injury and more concerned about forgetting every word of Spanish or tripping on my way to my seat,” she said.

He chuckled. “Well, I’ll hear all about that too, and then we can laugh about it together after school.” Somehow she thought he’d be doing the lion’s share of the laughing.

With a final kiss on the forehead, he sailed off to Physics to meet up with Alice. Bella turned around and trudged to her first class. First period English flew by, but Chemistry and Spanish were much more of a slog. Her Spanish had definitely suffered over the summer, but she had managed to stutter out an acceptable introductory statement to the class, and she only turned tomato red rather than deep crimson.

By the time lunch rolled around, she was worried she’d forgotten what Edward looked like they’d been apart so long. She walked into the cafeteria and panicked for a second until she noticed Edward and Alice sitting alongside Jessica and Angela. She’d somehow managed to create an alliance between her two different worlds, and though her friends of the human variety occasionally seemed uneasy with the Cullens, they were all friendly enough to manage even without her facilitating the conversation now.

Edward had looked a little bored, having heard Jessica’s anecdote about Mike forming in her head a minute before she said it, but when he saw her his eyes lit up. Bella plopped down beside him, and he murmured in her ear, “Thank God you’re here. I was about to stage a massacre and make a run for it.”

Bella smiled and greeted the rest of the group. Jessica paused her diatribe for a second to acknowledge her, then continued prattling to Alice. Alice was much more receptive to Jessica’s boy problems than Edward was. Alice was even kind enough to drop sly hints into the conversation about the odds of success for Jessica’s various schemes to win his affection, and eerily enough she was quite adept at guiding Jessica to the most favorable outcomes. She had even helped Jessica get him to commit to the homecoming dance weeks in advance.

Alice quickly turned to Bella, squeezed her shoulder gently, and mouthed “Hello” so Jessica could continue uninterrupted. She had an incredible amount of patience for someone who’d been around for over one hundred years.

Edward had a smile on his lips, and Bella didn’t like it. “What do you know?” she asked him accusingly.

“Oh, nothing,” he said. “Just saw that someone was a lovely shade of vermillion this morning in Spanish.”

Shit. She thought she’d looked rosy at worst.

“Yeah, well,” she responded, “you better watch yourself in Physics because I’ve heard that Mr. Carson makes the first quiz purposely impossible so everyone fails and learns to take him seriously.”

His brow furrowed. “Hmm, you’re right. I better make sure to study some wrong answers so I don’t get a perfect score and make everyone suspicious.”

She sighed. Sometimes it was tiring always being next to perfection.

They were having an amiable sparring match about how she would embarrass herself in the next half of the day when Alice’s demeanor changed, and Edward’s soon followed. They looked concerned.

“Edward, what is it? It’s not Victoria, is it?” Bella whispered.

“No,” he said through gritted teeth. “The rainstorms are moving north and the cloud cover is letting up. It’ll be sunny in ten minutes.”

She stifled a gasp. That was hardly enough time for them to conjure up an excuse to get off school grounds before the sun revealed their true nature.

Edward jumped to his feet and Alice followed. “I’m not feeling very well,” he announced.

“And we’ve got my car, so I better take him home,” Alice added.

Edward caressed Bella’s cheek and told her he’d see her after school. She was sad she’d have to spend the whole day without him, but she knew he had to go. She nodded.

They speed walked out of the room, struggling to maintain an acceptable human speed in their rush to escape. Edward would have to charm the front desk attendant, who was notorious for grilling any student trying to leave, even seniors during lunch. Bella was sure if anyone could satisfy Mrs. Beverly’s third-degree treatment it was Edward, but she hoped he could do it in enough time to comfortably reach the Volvo before the sun broke through the clouds.

Bella muddled through the rest of lunch and her classes without Edward, managing to cling to consciousness only by imagining how embarrassed she’d be if the teacher called her out for sleeping. She had eventually made it home, bumming a ride from Jessica, who was still hung up on whether Mike’s acceptance to the dance was enthusiastic enough. She survived the trip with her garrulous friend, and now she was left alone in utter silence to contemplate how tense Edward had been today, and lately in general. Suddenly, a knock came from the window.

She glanced over and saw it was Edward hanging onto the sill. He could have easily slid the window up in one motion and been on her bed by now, but he was a true gentleman, so he knocked. Plus, vampires needed an invitation.

She got up and pushed the window open with a little difficulty, until Edward lent a hand and it rose up instantaneously. The clouds were mostly back, but just enough sun remained to cast a glimmer over Edward’s cheekbones, like he was wearing her highlighter.

“May I come in?” he asked with a sideways smile.

Her heart thundered in her ears. That smile of his always seemed to do that to her, and no amount of exposure could inoculate her to prevent her body’s response. “Sure, come on in.”

He jumped onto her bed and patted the space beside him. She sat down and he rested his head in her lap. They sat in silence for a moment.

“Catch any rays today?” she finally asked.

His neck stiffened; she could feel against her leg. “It was actually a close call. The sun came out while we were in the car, and we happened to drive by none other than Jacob Black. Alice quickly put down the sun visor and he couldn’t quite see us, but it could have been very bad.”

“That brat!” she said. “Jake should’ve been in school. What the hell was he doing playing hooky?”

Edward sat up abruptly and replied in a measured tone. “Your concerns for the dog aside, Jacob isn’t aware that my family is the very thing he’s trained to destroy. It was an incredible risk that we went to school today despite the fifty-fifty chance of sun on the weather reports, but it was the first day of senior year and I wanted to be there.” He paused. “For you.”

Bella felt awful that she was putting Edward at risk just by wanting him around. She started, “You know, Edward, don’t do me any favors. I made it on my own long before you came around and…”

He cut her off. “Yes, and it’s a wonder you’ve made it this far at all.”

Bella sighed. Everything came back to her safety. “How are we ever going to last if we’re on such unequal footing? You can’t sacrifice everything just to protect me.”

Edward pondered this. “You’re right,” he admitted. “The unequal footing is a problem.” He suddenly jumped off the bed. “I have to go ask Carlisle about something. See you tomorrow?”

Bella’s pulse seemed to sputter off and completely restart. This abandonment felt all too familiar. “Edward, no— please, no.” She couldn’t help but grovel. She couldn’t go back to a life without him in it.

He gave her a warm smile. The storm cloud of concern quickly departed from his eyes. “Bella, don’t worry. I really will be back at school tomorrow. I just have to figure something out.”

With a final impish grin and a flutter of her curtains, he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward and Bella discuss consent.

That night it was hard for Bella to get to sleep. She was used to feeling Edward’s soothing, icy presence next to her. His absence reminded her a little too keenly of all the nights she awoke screaming for him in the darkness, thrashing about her bed in the throes of grief. She just tried to focus on his smile and his promise to return, and eventually she was able to drift off by turning on her fan to make the room a little colder, just like it was when he laid beside her.

She woke up and glanced at the clock; the hour hand was wrong, a whole number ahead of her normal wake up time. She jolted upright as she realized she had overslept. It was only twenty minutes to first period.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” she murmured as she dashed to the bathroom. She let slip one final “shit” as she saw her face in the mirror. The rough night had left her with dark blue bags under her eyes, almost bruises. Every flaw was amplified on her pale white skin. The braid she’d put her hair in had completely frayed and left her with horrible flyaways. Despite the train wreck looking back at her in the mirror, she only had time to brush her teeth frantically and splash her face with cold water. She ran to her room and threw on a flannel and an old pair of jeans, and she was out the door with only ten minutes left.

In her rush, she almost slipped on the wet pavement, slick with the morning rain. She could only imagine how Edward would react if she had fallen and arrived at school with a broken wrist. Outwardly amused, but probably inwardly horrified that she could manage so much trouble in so little time. Luckily, she kept her footing.

She hopped in the old Chevy and patted the dash lovingly. “We’re gonna push it today, old girl,” she told her loyal car. It hadn’t let her down in the wet Forks weather yet, despite its age.

Bella floored it as fast as her windshield wipers could keep up with the rain and arrived at school with only a minute to spare before first period. She threw the car in park and leapt out, pulling her hood up while simultaneously grabbing her backpack. She started jogging towards the doors when all of a sudden, she was airborne.

“What the…”

She turned and looked at Edward’s smiling face. “You’re going to miss English over my dead body,” he joked.

Bella freaked out. “Edward, put me down! You’re not my husband taking me over the threshold! We’re two high school students and I’m perfectly capable of using my legs!”

He just laughed and picked up the pace, jogging with amazing fluidity while carrying a whole person in his extended arms. Bella avoided the other students’ stares, but she could feel them gawking all the same.

When he reached the doors, he gingerly placed her on her feet, and just as she yanked the doors open, the bell rang. She would be thirty seconds late.

“Have fun in class!” Edward called with a smirk as she sped off.

She couldn’t enjoy English as much as usual with the morning’s events on her minds. As happy as she was to see Edward after yesterday’s scare, it felt a little patronizing that he didn’t even think she could manage to make it from the parking lot to the building without his help. Not to mention how he ignored her pleas to put her down. She was a little troubled that her saying no was just a joke to him.

At the start of lunch, she pulled Edward aside and asked if they could go off campus together. They said their goodbyes to the rest of the group and headed out.

“Can I drive?” Bella asked.

“Come on, your car is so slow. Besides, you don’t quite have my reflexes,” Edward said.

“Actually, she did extremely well in the rain today, and I wanted to reward her,” Bella insisted.

Edward’s eyebrows went up. “We’re talking about the car, right?”

Bella ignored him. “Besides, you always drive and sometimes I just like a slower pace that isn’t so panic-inducing,” she said.

Edward rolled his eyes. “Ok, ok, we’ll take the dinosaur,” he agreed.

Bella set off to the driver’s side, and by the time she opened the door Edward was already in the passenger’s seat and buckled, his hands gripping the seat tightly with a mock nervous expression on his face. “Let’s do this, I’m ready to assume the crash position.”

Bella ignored him again as she took her time checking her mirrors, buckling up, and slowly pulling out of the spot. As they headed to her house, she started, “Listen, Edward, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.”

He looked at her skeptically. “Okay, go ahead,” he replied.

“I know you mean well, but when you do stuff without me asking, oh, for example, lifting me off the ground like we’re figure skating or something when I’m just trying to make it to class on time, and when you don’t put me down when I ask you to, I feel kind of…” she paused, looking for the right word. “Powerless. I know that’s probably not a feeling you can relate to, but it’s how you make me feel sometimes.”

Edward’s brow furrowed. “Bella, I never want you to feel that way around me. Being with each other should be easy for both of us.”

“Well, Edward, that’s the thing,” she said. “Everything comes so easily to you that sometimes all I can think about is how hard some things are for me.” They sat in silence for a moment, taking this thought in, until Bella added, “And I know when you were coming of age one hundred years ago consent was not really part of the conversation, but it might be time for an update. When a girl tells you to stop doing something, you stop.”

Edward gave a sly smile. “Thank you for the lesson, but I am familiar with the concept of consent. Do I ever enter your home without explicitly asking for your permission beforehand?”

She snorted. “I mean, that’s more of a vampire thing than a consent thing,” she retorted.

“No, no,” he replied. “That’s nothing but a myth. In fact, it was circulated by the Volturi to put humans at ease, make them think they’re safe in their own beds so they would be unsuspecting prey. I’m just a perfect gentleman,” he said with a smile.

“Yes, yes, a perfect gentleman. Were you a perfect gentleman when you rushed out of my house with absolutely no explanation yesterday?” Bella said. They were just arriving at her house, and Edward rushed out of the car to open her door for her before she could move a muscle.

“Perfect gentleman, see?” he said.

She sighed and finally gave in, smiling. “Do you just promise to not sweep me off my feet until I ask you?”

“Swear to God,” he said, crossing his heart. He frowned, thinking it over. “Well, you get the sentiment.”

Bella giggled as they entered her house. “What were you doing yesterday anyway?” Before he could answer, she froze. The cruiser hadn’t been in the driveway, but Charlie’s jacket was hanging by the front door. He was home.

Edward’s mouth tilted up in a faint smile. “Should I make my exit now?” Charlie was not a big fan of Edward; whenever Bella had gotten into trouble over the last year, Edward always seemed to be at the center of it. And he definitely would be none too pleased to realize that she and Edward were sneaking off to the house in the middle of the day when it should have been empty.

Bella’s mouth formed a determined line. Edward was a big part of her life now, and Charlie was just going to have to accept it. “No, come in. We can all eat lunch together.”

Edward shrugged and followed her into the kitchen. He always seemed slightly amused at the way Charlie could barely disguise his disdain for him, and his thoughts were undoubtedly even more colorful. But Bella wanted Charlie to at least come to terms with Edward’s presence in her life, even if he wasn’t exactly throwing an arm around him and calling him “son.”

Charlie was sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal. A bit odd for lunch, but he was never a talented cook, and anything that required heat was pretty much above his skill level.

“Hello, Bells, and…Edward,” Charlie said, choking on his Weetabix as he took in Bella’s hand in Edward’s. “Shouldn’t you both be at school?”

“Well, shouldn’t you be at work?” Bella said. She was ready for a fight, even if Charlie wasn’t. She’d had enough of being pushed around today.

“I was, but we had a noise complaint on the outskirts of town, so I got Bob to give me a ride to the house for lunch. He’s going to swing back around and pick me up soon.” Charlie stopped. “But why am I explaining myself to you when you’re the kid and I’m the adult?”

“Charlie, I’m almost an adult now too,” Bella said. “I’m almost out of high school, and you really can’t be interrogating me like this every time I bring Edward around.”

Edward had been standing quietly beside her, but at the mention of his name, he tensed in preparation for Charlie’s response.

“Maybe I don’t interrogate you enough!” Charlie said. “If you’re not running off to see him in Phoenix, you’re losing your mind when he’s not around! It’s not normal, Bella.”

Edward leapt in, trying to protect her yet again. “Charlie, there is nothing more important to me than Bella’s safety…”

Bella cut him off. “Edward, it’s okay. Charlie, you see what I’m like without him. You may not love him, but what do you suggest I do about it now? Because we both know how things fly off the rails when he’s not around.”

Charlie sighed. “You’re right,” he admitted. “I just want what’s best for you, Bells. And I know you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. So if you tell me that’s Edward, then I just have to take your word for it.” He turned to Edward. “But son, I’ve got the full power of the Forks Police Department behind me, and don’t you forget it.”

Bella rolled her eyes, but she was satisfied with Charlie’s response. “Can we all enjoy a nice lunch together now? Got any of that cereal left?” She smirked a bit at the image of Edward forcing down Weetabix.

Charlie checked his watch. “Bob’s going to be coming around any minute now. I better head out front, or he’ll leave my slow ass behind.” With a chuckle, Charlie rose from his chair, mussed Bella’s hair, and left.

They were left alone in the kitchen. Edward broke the silence first. “So I can assume he’s indefinitely postponed the parade he was going to throw in my honor?”

Bella sighed. “I know he would actually really like you if he got to know you. Maybe he’s put off by how quiet you are. Can’t you move a little slower and make some noise or something? Drop a dish without catching it once in a while?”

Edward just grinned. “That’s not in my nature,” he said. “And besides, you drop enough dishes for the both of us.”

Bella laughed, then remembered the conversation Charlie’s presence had interrupted. “So where did you go yesterday?”

Edward had been waiting for it. “Yes, about that. We had been discussing our significant gap in physical ability, if I recall correctly.”

“Yes, and then you jumped out of my window like a total lunatic with no explanation,” Bella said.

“Well, I’ll try my best to explain it,” Edward said. “I’m sure you’ve noticed ever since that day in the meadow, my mind has wandered at times.”

Bella braced herself. He was getting sick of her, and this was the breakup. She knew it had only been a matter of time before he would lose interest in someone so average like her, someone so painfully human.

Edward continued. “Being with you has brought out the human side of me in ways I’ve never felt in all my years as a vampire. I feel more, I can talk to people more easily, and I don’t even mind being among a crowd. Because when I’m out in the human world, I’m able to be a part of your world. However, only to a point. I still need blood to survive. There is an ever-present risk that one day, I will succumb to the call of your blood and accidentally kill you. When you lay your head down to sleep at night, I’m alone for at least eight hours. I’ve never minded holding you, but it’s not the same as being with you. Before meeting you, I’d forgotten what it was like to dream. But I watch your face move every night, and I hear you talking in your sleep, and I miss dreaming. I miss sandwiches. You even make me miss tripping into a room, or yes, dropping dishes.”

Bella’s heart had resumed beating during the course of his speech when she realized he wasn’t dumping her, but now she was just confused. This superhuman angel was jealous of her? He wanted to be clumsy like her? Nothing was adding up.

Edward was looking at her inquisitively. “Okay, I have to know what you’re thinking. It’s killing me.”

“Well,” she began, not quite sure where to start, “I’ve spent my whole relationship worrying I wasn’t good enough for you, and here you are telling me you want to be more like me? It’s just a lot to take in.”

Edward’s eyes turned deadly serious. “Bella, you are far, far too good for me. I do not deserve you, and every time you’re in danger I’m acutely aware it’s completely my fault.”

Bella was startled at his insistence. “Edward, the only reason I’m here is because you’ve saved me time and time again. I wouldn’t be sitting here without you.”

“You never would’ve been in any trouble without me,” Edward snapped. “If you were with Mike, do you honestly believe you’d be having run-ins with murderous vampires?”

Bella nervously ran her hands through her hair. “How many times do I have to tell you Mike was and is never going to happen? These what-ifs don’t matter because at the end of the day I’m with you and I always want to be with you.”

“Well, that’s just the thing,” Edward responded wearily. “What if we could change the terms?”

Bella’s eyes started filling with tears before she could stop them. This was it, here was the break-up it had all been leading to. “Are you saying you don’t want to be with me forever?”

“No, Bella, no,” Edward said softly. “It’s forever I don’t want.”


End file.
